What Wakes You Up At Night?

I’ve never been in charge of any fundraising.  I have worked for a non-profit, but it was only a private family foundation.  Not the same thing at all, since there was zero soliciting.  Exploring options for fundraising is a lot of work.  Phone calls, emails, online web pages, organizing, and trying to think out of the box.  When your own life is on the line, you find the motivation and you become audacious.

One of my favorite phrases is “the worst thing that can happen is someone can say no”.  I keep this in mind as I ask people for their help.  For their time.  For their money to help me continue living.  For their compassionate and giving hearts.  Some people will say “no”.  A fair amount of people will say “no”.  I’ll continue to ask.  I’ll continue to dream up possibilities.  Sure, I worry that I won’t reach my fundraising goal in time to make a recovery, and keep on living without repeat transplant surgeries and endless medications.  I sigh as I look at my fundraising page with the meter on it, showing that I’ve barely made a dent.  It causes me wake up in the middle of the night.

I think of the hundreds of people I’ve helped over the years as a healer, herbalist, reiki master teacher, yoga instructor, advisor, confidant, and friend.  I don’t regret one moment of giving to others, even when it was the last $20 in my wallet that I gave to a sobbing family member.  Karma. The Golden Rule.  Altruism.  Random Acts of Kindness.  Call it what you will.  It’s brought me a lot of joy.  A type of joy that warms me on the inside and sustains me when I’ve found myself alone at night in a hospital bed, or bracing myself for yet another needle poke in the arm.

I wonder what people think, when they visit my fundraising page.  What makes them decide to donate or not to donate?  Especially the people, who personally know me.  If someone I knew (even if for only 5 minutes), asked me to donate to save his or her life, then I would likely open my wallet on the spot and give at that very moment.  So, I can’t help but wonder why everyone doesn’t do this.  What stops them?  What compels others to instantly give?

In the last week and a half since I launched my fundraising,  I’ve experienced both.  Reaching for her purse, one woman immediately gave me cash.  I haven’t known this woman very long, and I didn’t even ask her to donate.  Smiling, loving eyes met mine, as I accepted her gift with gratitude.  Everyone makes choices in life, all the time.  I choose to continue to believe there are good people out there.  It’s what helps me fall back asleep when I awake in the night worrying.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. sean
    Aug 25, 2012 @ 09:14:45

    do you have health benefits?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: